GRIEF

Grief is a natural human response which causes one to introspectively examine their internalized anger, sadness, despair, anguish, shame, resent, disappointment, regret, or resentment. It is normal for one to sequester themselves within life, remain in solitude, become unresponsive due to their bereavement, and experience avoidance or close the door to personal growth or connections to the outside world due to unprocessed emotions, lack of trust or faith in all that they have ever known or experienced, or an inner denial that they will escape the confines of their mental, emotional, or physical pain. Often, many will experience denial, numb their state of existence, experience withdrawal from normal activities which they once took pleasure in, and even experience a spiritual existential period of denial of a higher power’s existence to help in their time of need. During this period of time, it is essential to comfort, remain a stable force within the lives of others that have endured short or long term pain of having to witness, endure, comprehend, deal, or who have had to slowly observe their loved one slowly passing away, without the ability to find a cure, or the feeling of powerlessness to control the situation at hand.

Our gift to another is our gentle presence, empathy, love, patience, and compassion, when one experiences bereavement. It is imperative that one seeks solace during their time of need which is critical to their revival when one has endured internal pain from absence, loss, abandonment, death, internal pain, or ongoing trauma. Loss can appear in many different forms from illness, loss of a trusted relationship or beloved pet, disruption or disconnection within your security “safety zone” due to financial, mental, or emotional turmoil, or even the moments before the final phase of a loved ones spiritual transcendence to a higher elevated state into the light. It is the need for a final sense of closure, living within an isolating state of numbness or internal pain, the denial or paralysis to progress due to fear of the future or the unwillingness to temporary acknowledge the pain that is surfacing. One may experience a feeling that part of them has died which results in the disconnection from the self, or the experience of loneliness to live another day without your counterpart at your side, which makes one question their meaning or purpose. Often, many that experience guilt will experience substantial amounts of survivors guilt where they have survived however, their loved one endured a life threatening illness or event, where their physical or mental state deteriorated, before their loved ones eyes. Loss can occur slowly, incrementally, or suddenly. It is traumatic to lose another that meant the world to you, that was your source of safety or represented a form of unconditional love. You can never replace or mirror another’s existence, for their imprint cascades a frequency of acceptance, trust, and peace within. Although the etherical cords might be severed, the divine spiritual connection with your loved one can never be separated, not even in the state of death.

We are recycled reincarnations of previous lives, with a diverse rich tapestry of existence, as we travel with our spiritual counterparts in many lives, to enable spiritual expansion, ascension, and emancipation, to enable a higher conscious state of awareness. We ultimately return to our natural state which is that of unconditional love, unification, and infinite peace. The peace and love you found in another is within you, as frequency matches like. We cannot control the experiences we may encounter, however, we must transcend and transmute the internal pain in a healthy manner, to enable us to have the courage to live another day. You have the strength to do this.

The grieving process is a period of time when compassion, comfort, patience, and understanding are essential ingredients in the recovery process. Engaging in the mindful practice of meditation for the mind, body and soul, physical activities such as slowly re-entering within your comfort zone into the public realm, engaging the mind through reading, giving yourself permission to allow your emotions to surface, or partake in spiritual exercises such as yoga can alleviate and mitigate the physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental trauma one might experience during their healing process. You will enter into a sequence of removing distortion and illusion to find peace, clarity, and inner strength. It is imperative for one to recognize that you have to be patient, remain vigilant with remaining strong, and to acknowledge that grief is a response to a traumatic event, it is neither the cause, and it is not a permanent state of mind, for it gives us the precious gift of release, by acknowledging what harms us to our core, which then allows the feeling to surface, to experience catharsis. You can not reverse what has transpired, you can not step into the place of another’s pain or endure the pain for them. With gentle compassion, you can offer your support, help, and offer your presence as the healing soul is reaching a reconfiguration phase of recognizing, as they are internalizing what has transpired at a higher level of consciousness.

For those that have not experienced grief of a loved one, I can adequately explain to you what it feels like. For a moment please visualize a house, a house that is familiar, a house that is filled with memories, celebrations, and milestones. This house represents the cornerstone of your existence, and within the confines of this dwelling, it holds an individual that you have chosen to share your life with. You open the door, they come towards you, they ask you to get an object, you retrieve it, you come back, and they are no where to be found. You enter into a state of fear, anxiety, and panic as you are now placed in a situation where you have to confront the loss and are immersed in feelings of grief, loss, sadness, fear, abandonment, regret, and confusion. You begin to fear a higher power above all you have ever known, as you are now experiencing scarcity, loneliness, despair, and sadness. You look everywhere within the house, but have to confront the emotion head on, that they are no longer within your realm of experience. You plead, you cry, you throw a tantrum, you scream at the top of your lungs which is then muted, you want to exit the house but are trapped with the memories, and feel suffocated, you want to reverse time, you want to return to a life of innocence where the world was predictable, harmonious, and at peace however, you are sequestered within your own thoughts. The walls are closing in. The house then transforms into a box, where you are observing your own feelings, emotions, and mental anguish. It is a period of stillness, darkness, silence envelopes your sense of being, you then see a sliver of light, however, you do not want to walk forward because you feel guilt and shame to progress, however, the warm presence of this light enables you to regain your focus, hope, trust, within yourself. The light enables you to exit the body and recognize that the box represents your compartmentalized state of existence, it is your sacred memory of that individual. This box has now become your archive, where you are able to store it in a safe environment, where you can access these memories on a later date with an open mind, healed heart, and strength of will. The body may be gone, but the memories you create last a lifetime. Please note, your loved one wants you to live again, feel again, experience again, love again, trust again, and most importantly believe again. In honour of your loved one, you must move forward despite the pain, anguish, resent, sadness, grief, and depression. You must pull through. To achieve your restorative state, you must be at peace with yourself, forgive yourself, return to a place where you enable yourself the permission and ability to imagine, discover, and explore life, as this box is safe within your heart, where no one can touch it, where you then become the sacred guardian of these memories. You then acknowledge that you are now able to extract and possess wisdom from this experience to help another in the world around you that is experiencing the same form of loss, in a different stream and state of their conscious experience. You then recognize that you are safe, that nothing can disturb your peace of mind, you are able to take back control of a situation that has deteriorated you temporarily but rebuilt your construct to withstand despair.

It is challenging to gather and muster your strength to face another day. It is difficult to regain the hope and joy in one’s heart when you are consistently experiencing the anguish of grief in the form of metaphysical, emotional, and physical pain. It is a stagnated period when you long to see your loved one again, and can not face the act of removing their memories from a home you have shared. Time moves still, where you will experience moments of happiness again, just to feel guilt the next moment for encompassing joy. Your strength is your persistence to keep moving forward, to have the courage to get out of bed, to find mechanisms to lift your spirits, and most importantly to come to peace with the recognition that a fragment of you is lost. Remember, you are within the loss, and you will overcome the loss. Loss signifies to all of us that we were brave to experience love in its fullest unconditional form, that we were open to the connection with another, that we remained strong for another and lived for another beyond ourselves. It is the moment you have to recognize and give yourself solace and permission to forgive yourself, for you did everything in your power to be present with your loved one in their last periods of life. Always know within your sacred heart that the physical body may not remain within this realm but the consciousness still lives on, and our soul tribe or soulmate will never be disconnected from our etherial bodies. We are part of the spiritual world, even within human form, our conscious state of awareness allows and permits the permission to recognize that we are interconnected and interdependent within it, as it is part of our human experience to move beyond the body, and recognize and learn from our past incarnations, our past trajectories within this lifetime, and most importantly recognize that you are more than the body, your experiences, your beliefs, and your patterns. When you re-ignite the spirit to live again, to live within fear, to move beyond fear, to accept that you do not have to endure but persevere, you will be able to once again move beyond the destruction you feel or experience within yourself. No one can remove or take away your precious moments with another, and your experiences is what connects you to your loved one, and enables you to open up to others. Embrace the warmth and love of your divine compassion within, recognize that peace is present during your difficulties, cultivate solitude and inner reflection for when we comfort our anguish we transcend it. Moving beyond the hurt does not erase the memory of a loved one, it emancipates the soul from the confines of stagnated grief, despair, and depression. To resonate and remain on the same frequency as our loved one, we must forgive ourselves and remain within a state of self contemplation and peace. It will come in time, I can assure you of this.

Anchor yourself within your life. At this moment, please know that grief does not have a strict timeline or guideline. Allow yourself to experience loss, live in the past by revisiting memories of what united you to your loved one, recognize that within time your body will restore itself, you will move out of a sequestered stagnated state of existence into a period of true acceptance, and you will regain your strength to enable change, to allow your catharsis period to begin. Address your feelings, enable another to form connections with you, to allow you to see the world as safe again, and within time, your trust will be restored with the reassurance that your loved one will always be with and reunited with you no matter time, distance, or whether they have transcended over to the spiritual realm. Time is of the essence, and it heals all wounds. Give yourself the permission to cry as it is a natural form of release of tension, and it enables you to express what is deep within your heart, as the body requires restorative release to channel new forms of healing within, as it accumulates and discharges energetic sequences to enable peace to be reestablished within. Grief is an emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical process, and when you acknowledge or confront the internal pain, through communication, introspective healing, or the gentle process of recollecting memories, it bridges the gap between existing and living. Take comfort in the knowledge that tomorrow will be another opportunity to heal, rejuvenate, and restart, you are not weak, you are healing, you are feeling, and you are experiencing and processing your sorrow to enable natural transformations to occur. Without judgement, always observe what is surfacing within the body, surround yourself with love, and always remember, before a Phoenix is to rise again, it cries, as our eyes are the window to the soul and represent our internal lens on how we experience, view, perceive, or deconstruct life within all its glorious stages. As it sheds its tears, and transforms into a magnificent being of strength, hope, and resilience, it accepts the dichotomy of pleasure with pain to comprehend the scales of life and rebirth. Our tears spiritually cleanse and cathartically release our emotional and mental states of anguish, to bring forth renewal. Remaining sentimental or expressing our emotion in a safe environment, enables us to reconnect with our divine feminine within, which allows us to become vulnerable, and presents empathy and compassion in the wake of our despair. Persevering beyond our intense emotional states enable us to become aware of the cycles within life, to appreciate the gift of life, and most importantly, enables us to be awakened to the celebration of life, through our purification through catharsis. Return to a restored healed perception of life with confidence that the world is safe and secure, that suffering is a temporary state of the mind, that human connection unites souls through the power of trust and love, and the recognition that you must honour yourself with the gift of time, for it leads to the profound awakening of introspective realization of who we are at our core, and enables a shift within our conscious paradigm to usher in recovery. Above all, always remember you are loved, powerful, and will overcome, heal, and resurrect from your solitude with grace, through your spiritual growth, awakening, and ascension, as you embrace the eternal cycle of life.

Elisabeth Babarci is a Canadian Empowerment Coach. Elisabeth’s humanitarian efforts throughout her entire life, ongoing training and education by certified professionals, and life experiences has enhanced her comprehension and understanding of how to help others become strong, resilient, and empowered. Elisabeth’s main focus is helping clients with empowerment and recovery from trauma. In advising and guiding her clients on how to cope with constant change in unstable environments to safe environments, allows the establishment of balance, inner peace, forgiveness, and equilibrium. Elisabeth’s goal is to help individuals acknowledge their inner strength, rehabilitate, restructure, rebuild, and reclaim their power to move forward in life. Elisabeth has direct experience with overcoming challenges and is dedicated and determined to seeing individuals become adaptive and resilient. WWW.BABARCI.COM

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