RELATIONSHIPS

The cornerstone of a healthy relationship is one that fosters and promotes unity, respect, and unconditional love. The foundational elements of a strong healthy relationship are based on mutual trust, honesty, freedom, accountability, transparency, and mutual respect. When one embraces consistency, dependability, care, and acute communication, intimate or interpersonal relations flourish as they are within the realm of nurturing cohesive love. To form an effective connection, both parties must effortlessly be at the same trajectory in life, which is illustrated by a willingness to be mutually exclusive, a foundation of friendship which evolved into intimacy, and a healthy respect for one another’s lifestyle, without one having to sacrifice their dreams, ambitions, or personal goals. Relationships extend beyond the primary partnership, with a special emphasis to maintain a healthy respect for their respective families and close friendships, with a solid commitment and agreement to enhance and support a stable environment, where interconnectivity promotes unity.

To navigate life’s complexities, it is imperative that one is adaptable, resilient, and fosters a clear vision of what the future would entail. Clear communication, active listening, exploring and learning from shared experiences, commitment to see rough terrain through, exclusivity, support, and love, promotes mutual growth, acceptance, understanding, and respect. Relationships require consistent effort, acceptance of imperfections, patient with time, and will require compromise to achieve solutions. Partnerships support achievements, milestones, respect fundamental rights, and honour traditions. One should always feel worthy, valued, supported, acknowledged and considered. We are all perfectly imperfect, and relationships enhance our self awareness, self reflection, and self development to open our hearts and minds to alternative perspectives, to be adaptable during life’s challenges, to foster growth and development, to mirror our true selves to enhance healing, and most importantly to become empathetic and compassionate to have concern for others and their needs.

As our environment becomes one of love and unity, it enhances the moral fabric of society to become strong, acceptant, and inclusive. When we evoke patience, act with intention and mindfulness, to accept others as they are and not how we wish them to be, to be happy for others success and to share in those precious moments, listen with compassion, to foster friendship, intimacy, and trust creates a union that is built on strong ethics and principles which can withstand the test of time. To be open minded, tolerant, and willingness to forgive to achieve inner peace creates a foundation based on mutual unconditional love which enhances the balance of cooperation and reciprocity.

The importance of self exploration is crucial, prior to engaging in a committed relationship. It enables an individual to experience freedom, solitude, and have undefined parameters to explore and define what they want within life or to promote healing within through inner reflection. One that is confident, understands themselves deeply, is comfortable within their own skin, respectable, accountable, and has their priorities intact, sets a frequency that fosters commitment and coexistence. When one creates situations due to confusion of self, and lacks transparency or accountability, promotes uncertainty or unstable environments, will vibrate at a lower frequency that will karmically negatively impact a cohesive environment. When one promotes uncertainty, manipulates or forces relations, it destroys the spirit of another, as they may not trust again due to the experience.

Always be mindful of how your actions impacts another. If you willfully seek to engage or create casual or undefined titles, it forms an imbalance, which leads to a paradox of control — as your intention is not to settle but to keep your options open in hopes for something better. The paradox of disharmony — If one individual desires stability and another willfully or intentionally deceives or sets a precedence for commitment free ideology, it causes deterioration of not only the friendship but ethically speaking, individuals that are carefree or lack moral accountability for their actions, are not respected within society and their integrity will be questioned by others. No matter what the conscious norm of the society may be, be mindful that your actions will be mirrored back karmically or have a way of revealing themselves at a later date — what is done in the dark, always comes to light. Always focus on a relationship that represents stability, commitment or strong foundations of respectable values however, if this is not present, please be mindful to refrain from hurting your partner or their families. When one engages in a relationship, you are not just engaged with your partner, your actions will be reflected and mirrored onto their external families, their children that have come to depend on you, or even worse common animals that you may share that you may later have to abandon. Remember, you are not only hurting one individual, the dysfunction that is caused within the relationship will significantly impact others within their lives. If you are not respectful with your actions, you will not create an environment to attain a stable loving environment.

When there is a genuine lack of trust, or one feels reduced to an occasional or temporary encounter, you have to refrain from the experience, and examine the impact on your self worth or self esteem. The actions of another do not define who you are however, what you accept defines your character. If this is not how you would like your life to unfold or progress, forgive the situation, and move forward with integrity. No one can take away your power without your consent, and consistently be true to yourself. If you continue to engage in situations that promote neglect, it will have psychological, and emotional ramifications, as it will represent or be associated with abandonment and trauma. Temporary gains to control emotions, to seek financial support, or temporary companionship does not foster growth, it signals a deeper core root of lack of ethics, or a loss of self from understanding what unconditional love entails which is partnership. The word temporarily is defined as “limited” and “not permanent.” You cannot grow in an environment that is faking a future or not promoting respect or understanding, it will not change. Within this paragraph, I am placing no judgment on those that partake in these actions, it is just written to be a cautionary reminder or to bring awareness to others, that actions have consequences, that can impact personal growth or healing. Always be mindful of the emotional turmoil abandonment or temporary arrangements can cause — we as humans deserve love, peace, and the ability to coexist in harmony, when that is not promoted, it causes damage and destruction. Temporary arrangements may in the short term seem non impactful but can cause one to lose faith in everything they believed in as safe or secure. Never promote relationships that make you feel transitory, you deserve more.

Within relationships, there should be a limited amount of power struggles, imbalances, or disagreements — should one experience these three elements, there needs to be deep reflection of what one party has allowed or enabled to transpire. Relationships enhance the overall experience of one’s life, through their strengths ,while seeking solutions for any divisions or weaknesses. Boundaries are essential, as both parties are able to maintain their individuality, emancipation, and are able to communicate their comfort levels. Relationships should not be abusive, manipulative, ghosting episodes, or to represent withholding affection for control — these demonstrate an immature short-term view of life, and does not promote longevity, it is what I like to call “The here and now phase.” Within the first 3 months, both individuals need to communicate their goals, desires, and plans without compromise. One must be willing to be patient to wait for the right suitable partner, as a forced connections lead to endless barriers. If a situation does not reflect your personal views, beliefs, or does not represent love or respect, you need to define your parameters of what you are willing to accept, and acknowledge that you deserve to feel as a priority and not an option.

Oftentimes, one might state — “I placed so much effort into the current relationship by __________ amount of years, I can not just throw that away,” “Once I withhold affection, and start to get my act together before they decide to leave, then they stay,” < This indicates that the relationship means nothing to other party that is causing distress as they evoke cyclical behaviour to keep you within the net. Love is not compromise, love is not sacrifice, love is not the erosion of personal boundaries, and love is not control or games. If someone does not have the maturity to commit, this will be evident in other aspects of the relationship going forward such as a downpayment for a house or condo, inconsistent with responsibilities and care, a childlike approach to solving problems, which will appear as immature or avoidance, and it will represent that when you need them the most, there will be no reliability or dependability. The real question is “What is the rush?,” If there is an urgency to settle for less than what you deserve, meaning you are settling for lack of care, uncertain unpredictable future, or holding onto the promise of what “will be” within a few months down the line — please note, this is faking a future, the imagination phase, and you must refrain from consistently placing energy in this vicious cycle that will only end up in disappointment and heartbreak. If they are uncertain about their future with you, they are not confused, they are uncertain that you are “the one,” and will not proceed to make a commitment only false empty promises. Please, maintain your dignity, and do not be a placeholder. Release the relationship if it does not enable you to express or be who you truly are or what you truly value because you do not have to sacrifice your morals, ethics, or principles just to retain a relationship. Relationships thrive in environments that encompass stability, accountability, respect, care, and support, and if there is a lack of these ingredients, the foundation is not strong to withstand the future.

Relationships should never promote : Hostility, jealousy, manipulation, control, abuse, or violence. Please be aware there is a fundamental difference between compromise and sacrifice — sacrifice is when one individual continuously accepts hostile or disrespectful treatment, loss of self, broken down due to force, gives up ones personal freedoms to see their loved ones or the ability to participate in activities that enable them to foster healing, growth, or development. Compromise entails working cohesively to achieve balance and equilibrium, it is where partnerships foster a merger and balance of friendship and partnership to achieve attainable goals with respect, compassion, and mutual support. One is control the other is love.

Signs To Observe :

If the individual that you are interested in, admire, love, or in a committed relationship with does not (call you) = red flag

If the individual that you are interested in, admire, love, or in a committed relationship with does not (confide in you) = red flag

If the individual that you are interested in, admire, love, or in a committed relationship with does not (explain why they are being secretive) = red flag

If the individual that you are interested in, admire, love, or in a committed relationship with does not (respect you) = red flag

If the individual that you are interested in, admire, love, or in a committed relationship with does not (demonstrate affection) = red flag

If the individual that you are interested in, admire, love, or in a committed relationship with does not (introduce you to their family, friends, coworkers) = red flag

If the individual that you are interested in, admire, love, or in a committed relationship with does not (make plans with you) = red flag

If the individual that you are interested in, admire, love, or in a committed relationship with does not (want to be seen in public with you) = red flag

If the individual that you are interested in, admire, love, or in a committed relationship with does not (speak about the future) = red flag

If the individual that you are interested in, admire, love, or in a committed relationship with (disrespects, controls, or manipulates you) = red flag

Questions To Reflect On:

What defines your relationship? Exclusive? Open?

How do you define a healthy relationship?

Are you ready for a relationship?

Does this relationship make you feel safe? seen? heard? valued ? supported ? loved?

Does this relationship promote equilibrium?

Does this relationship make you feel used or promote the illusion that you need to sacrifice your goals or close personal connections?

Does this relationship make you feel that it is safe to be who you are? Or, have you lost yourself?

Does this relationship make you feel like a future can be established?

Is there a power dynamic that is causing disharmony?

Is your partner your friend that you can confide in during your moments of need or support?